The Story You Live By

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Our lives are like a book, made up of different chapters, a series of stories within one massive novel. Every day we have interactions, relationships, successes, failures, things that happen, things we do and so on. Some of these events are more memorable than others and can have a profound or long-lasting impact upon our lives, influencing how we think and behave. If we were writing a book of our life, then some of them would make into one or more of the chapters.

It is so easy to become bogged down by the past, to live your life by what has gone on before and this influences everything you do today. I have spoken about responsibility in a previous blog which you can access using the link below,

Be Responsible for Your Life

Sometimes it is difficult to get to a place where you are taking responsibility for your current situation because you are living your life by the same story you have always done. The question to ask is, how does this story serve you? Does it hold you back or does it inspire you to drive forward in creating the life you want and living life to the fullest? How does the story you are choosing to live your life by, affecting how you think?

There is a correlation between what you think and the results you get. Let me explain further using the figure below. This is a tool for you to use to redefine your story and ultimately, your outcome.

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You are thinking every minute of every day. Experts estimate we have anywhere between 50-80,000 thoughts per day. You have a thought or often, a series of thoughts, on everything that goes on in your life, but especially when it comes to making a change or doing something which is meaningful to you. For example, maybe you are wanting to go part time at work so that you have more time at home. You'll have a myriad of thoughts that go with this, arguments for doing this, counterarguments against it, experiencing the see-saw effect of weighing up all the pros and cons of going part-time or staying full-time. Some thoughts will be positive, some negative, some thoughts don't even register that much, but others will be so intense they are difficult to ignore. All these thoughts generate feelings which influences what you do next. Sometimes the feelings we have affect the thoughts we generate which can lead to an even greater intensity of feelings. There is a rapid interchange between thoughts and feelings, but what follows is the actions you then take, how you respond, effectively what you do. The actions are the culmination of what you are thinking and feeling but what you choose to then do, determines the results you get; what you see and experience.

It is these outcomes which influence what you think next. And the cycle begins again; each time you go through this process the intensity and energy which you cycle through increases. Think about the story you are living by and how this might influence the process and ultimately the results you get. If the story you live by is one you have been telling all your life and it is one that isn't serving you, it is one full of negativity, anger, hatred, shame, guilt or blaming others then what are you going to choose to do and what outcomes will you achieve?

If you want to change an outcome then change the thought; change how you view what you’re looking at, this is going to change how you feel about it. Feeling differently will impact on the choice of actions you can take, giving you a different outcome. But what if, even if you have the same thoughts and feelings, what would happen if you chose a different course of action, how might that influence the outcome you achieved? Even though your emotions are running high you can still choose to take a different course of action.

Consider what might happen if you changed your thoughts, thought about what your story now consists of. If you told yourself to create or choose a different story, how might the thought of doing this and where it might lead make you feel? We are constantly creating stories; it is in our DNA. 

The stories we create are the ones in which we live our lives by. The story you choose will determine whether you see something as an opportunity in which you will gain a positive outcome or whether you focus on what you will lose. Your story can be empowering, or it can hold you back. Only you can change your story so what’s stopping you? What story are you telling right now? Is it one in which you are creating your best possible future life? If not, then change it. The story you tell yourself and the world will not only define who you are, but who you will become and what you will do as you create your future. A story can change your life, so go create your next chapter.